How Military Couples Can Thrive After Service
Jun 24, 2025
Ms. Veteran Affairs Explains How Couples Can Thrive Post-Military Life
Nina stood by the window, gazing out at the sprawling city below. The early evening sun cast a golden hue across the skyline, but all she could see was the hollow emptiness that had settled in her heart. The military life had been all-consuming for years, and now that her husband, Alex, had left the service, she wasn’t sure where they fit anymore. The transition hadn’t been easy for either of them, but it had been particularly difficult for Nina. She’d never imagined that life after the military would feel so... uncertain.
She reached for her phone and scrolled through social media, half-heartedly looking for something to distract her. As she flicked through photos of happy couples and military families celebrating their transitions, she came across a post from a familiar face: Ms. Veteran Affairs.
Her heart skipped a beat. Ms. Veteran Affairs wasn’t just a name to Nina; it was a beacon of hope she’d heard about from several of her friends in the military spouse community. Yvonne Coulson—Ms. Veteran Affairs—had a reputation for helping military families navigate the tricky waters of life after service, and she’d helped countless veterans and their spouses transform their transitions into something meaningful.
Without thinking, Nina tapped on the post. It was an invitation to an event that was taking place just down the street—something about empowering military couples to thrive after transition. It was the last thing Nina felt like doing, but a nagging voice in the back of her head told her that this could be her chance to break free from the emotional fog that had been clouding her life.
A Chance Encounter
The next morning, after pushing aside her doubts, Nina walked into the community center. The room buzzed with activity, full of veterans and their spouses, all exchanging stories and resources. She could feel the weight of her anxiety pushing down on her chest, but she swallowed it. It was time to step out of her comfort zone.
As she looked around the room, she saw a woman standing near a table, calmly talking to a small group. It was Ms. Veteran Affairs—Yvonne Coulson herself. She wasn’t dressed like some motivational speaker with a loud personality. She was dressed casually, yet her presence was undeniable. It was the way she listened, the way she truly saw people, that made her stand out.
Nina hesitated but eventually walked up, her heart racing. “Excuse me,” she said, her voice trembling. “Are you Ms. Veteran Affairs?”
Yvonne smiled warmly. “I sure am. And you must be Nina.” She didn’t ask how she knew her name; it was as if she had been expecting her.
“I’m… I’m not sure where to start,” Nina stammered, her voice barely a whisper. “My husband’s been out for a while now, and I just don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve both changed, and I don’t think I recognize the person he’s become. And, to be honest, I don’t think I recognize myself, either.”
The Hidden Truth of Transition
Yvonne nodded, her eyes soft with understanding. “That’s not an unusual feeling, Nina. The truth is, the transition out of the military isn’t just hard for the service member. It affects everyone—especially the spouse. It’s like you’re both suddenly handed a new life, and there’s no manual to show you how to make it work.”
Nina swallowed hard. “I thought I was ready. We had plans, dreams for the future. But now… everything feels so fragile.”
Yvonne placed a hand gently on Nina’s arm. “It’s okay to feel lost. It’s okay to not have all the answers right now. You’re not alone in this. You’ve been through so much together, and it’s normal to feel a little off-balance after the military. But this is also an opportunity to rebuild—together.”
Nina’s eyes filled with tears, and she quickly wiped them away. She hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear that, how much she needed someone to tell her that it was okay to not have everything figured out.
Yvonne continued, her voice steady and comforting. “The key is to acknowledge the transition, to talk openly about how you’re both feeling, and to understand that this is a time for growth. It's about finding new ways to support each other—not just as spouses, but as two individuals who are trying to navigate this new chapter in their lives.”
Ms. Veteran Affairs’ Tips for Thriving Post-Military Life
Nina listened intently as Yvonne shared a few practical tips she had gathered over the years from working with military couples. These tips weren’t just about surviving the transition; they were about thriving.
- Communicate Openly: “It’s easy to bottle up your emotions and avoid difficult conversations. But that’s a surefire way to drift apart. Make time for regular check-ins. Ask each other how you’re feeling, what you need, and how you can support one another.”
- Set New Goals as a Couple: “The military gave you both a sense of purpose. Now it’s time to create that sense of purpose together again. Set shared goals—whether it’s financial, personal, or even something as simple as taking a trip together. It’ll help you both feel like you’re working toward something.”
- Rediscover Each Other: “You’ve changed. Your partner has changed. That’s natural. Take time to reconnect and rediscover each other’s dreams, desires, and ambitions. Make date nights a priority, and get back to the basics of what made you fall in love.”
- Seek Support When You Need It: “You don’t have to do this alone. Look for support in veteran spouse communities, therapy, or even local events like this one. It’s okay to lean on others who understand what you’re going through.”
- Make Self-Care a Priority: “You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself. Whether it’s getting enough sleep, exercising, or doing something you enjoy, make sure you’re nurturing yourself, too. Only then can you fully support your partner.”
A New Beginning
By the end of the event, Nina felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She no longer felt alone in her struggles. Yvonne had given her the clarity and confidence she needed to see that the transition didn’t have to be a time of division—it could be a time of transformation.
As Nina and Alex sat down to talk that evening, they did so with a renewed sense of understanding. They didn’t have all the answers yet, but they had each other—and they were ready to take the first steps forward together.
Discussion Questions:
- What challenges did Nina and her husband face after the military transition, and how did they begin to address them?
- How can open communication between spouses help navigate the challenges of life after military service?
- What role do personal goals play in strengthening a couple’s bond after transitioning from the military?
- Why is self-care important during a transition, and how can it help both partners?
- How can military couples utilize community support to help them thrive in post-military life?
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