Change is inevitable, especially when you're part of a military family. But what happens when the changes feel overwhelming for your kids? As a military spouse, Ms. Veteran Affairs knows firsthand how challenging it can be to help children adjust to new environments, schools, and the emotional impact of deployments or moves. In this story, Ms. Veteran Affairs shares practical advice, real-life experiences, and thoughtful strategies for supporting military children through transitions.

Juliana’s Struggle with Change

When Jao, an Air Force veteran, reached out to Ms. Veteran Affairs for help, he was desperate. His daughter, Juliana, had been struggling with the constant moves and his extended deployments. Jao knew Juliana was a bright, resilient girl, but the repeated changes in her life were beginning to take a toll on her emotional health. She had become withdrawn, and her once thriving social life now seemed like a distant memory. Jao had always been a strong, capable father, but when it came to helping his daughter cope with the challenges of military life, he felt out of his depth.

“Ms. Veteran Affairs, I don’t know what to do,” Jao confessed over the phone. “Juliana seems to be losing her spark. We’ve moved again, and it’s like she doesn’t want to try anymore. How do I help her feel safe and happy again?”

Understanding the Emotional Needs of Military Children

Ms. Veteran Affairs listened intently, her heart going out to Jao. She understood what it was like to juggle the emotional needs of a child while navigating the complex military life.

“Jao, you’re not alone in this,” Ms. Veteran Affairs said gently. “Many military children face similar struggles. The key is recognizing the emotional weight they carry. Juliana’s withdrawn behavior could be her way of coping with the uncertainty and instability that comes with constant changes. It’s natural for kids to feel unsettled when they move frequently or when a parent is away for long periods. But there are ways to help her manage and build resilience.”

Making Moves Smoother

The first piece of advice Ms. Veteran Affairs offered was about preparing for moves. She knew from experience how disruptive a relocation could be for children, especially when they’ve had to leave behind friends and familiar routines.

“Before you move, talk to Juliana about what’s coming up,” she suggested. “Give her as much information as possible about the new place, the school, and the exciting things she might experience. Let her voice her worries and concerns, and validate her feelings. Sometimes, kids just need to know that their feelings are heard.”

She continued, “Also, involve her in the process. Let her help with packing, choosing her new room, or even looking up fun activities in your new town. Making her feel like she has some control over the situation can help ease the anxiety that comes with the unknown.”

Strengthening Connections

As Juliana was preparing for another move, Ms. Veteran Affairs emphasized the importance of keeping connections strong. She suggested that Jao encourage Juliana to stay in touch with her old friends through letters, phone calls, or even social media.

“Kids today have so many ways to keep in touch with friends, even across miles,” Ms. Veteran Affairs explained. “Encourage Juliana to send postcards or create a ‘memory box’ with mementos from each place she’s lived. It helps her hold onto the relationships she’s built, even if she’s physically far away.”

She also encouraged Jao to be proactive in finding ways for Juliana to make new friends once they settled in their new community. “Getting involved in local activities, whether it’s sports, art classes, or even volunteering, can provide Juliana with a sense of belonging. The more she connects with others, the less daunting the transition will feel.”

Supporting Resilience

Finally, Ms. Veteran Affairs offered some advice on fostering resilience in Juliana. She explained how important it was for Jao to model resilience in his own life, showing Juliana that it was okay to feel challenged but that there were always ways to adapt and overcome.

“Teach Juliana that change doesn’t have to be feared,” she said. “Help her see the positives in each new experience. Maybe the next move will give her the chance to try new things, make new friends, or discover new talents. Resilience is about embracing change with an open heart and learning to grow from it.”

A Path Forward

Jao hung up the phone feeling a renewed sense of hope and determination. Ms. Veteran Affairs had given him the tools to help Juliana through this tough time. He knew it wouldn’t be an easy road, but with these strategies, he could provide Juliana the support she needed to navigate change and come out stronger.

Ms. Veteran Affairs had reminded Jao that as parents, they may not always have all the answers, but by being there for their children, acknowledging their struggles, and helping them build resilience, they could empower their kids to face the challenges of military life head-on.

Ms. Veteran Affairs' Checklist for Jao: Helping Juliana Navigate Change

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